Why Feeling Safe in a Relationship is All About Setting Good Boundaries

Emotional safety is a cornerstone of a healthy relationship. People generally consider a relationship healthy if everyone in it feels protected, loved, and respected. And don’t we all want to be in a place where our interpersonal connections make us feel safe? But what does “feeling safe in a relationship” mean? And why is it so important?

What Does It Mean to Feel “Safe” in a Relationship?

Feeling safe in a relationship means that you have the freedom to be your authentic self without fear of being judged or rejected. It is about feeling seen, heard, and understood. Furthermore, safety in a relationship means feeling valuable and valued even when you show your flaws and weaknesses.

Like our relationships with caregivers, deep emotional bonds in adult relationships give us security and protection. But at the same time, we strongly need to be free and independent. We feel safe in our relationships when we are free to express ourselves and say no without further justification. People in emotionally safe relationships can be themselves while still being involved and open with each other.

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Why Do We Need Emotionally Safe Relationships?

A safe relationship means openness and vulnerability. Safe relationships promote our self-esteem and bring us joy in life, safeguarding our mental health and well-being, and even improving our life expectancy, according to research (1).

On the contrary, when you feel insecure in a relationship, you constantly feel inadequate, disrespected, and defensive. Such a way of thinking can hurt your self-esteem, confidence, and mood in a big way, which can cause problems in other parts of your life, like with your family, at school, or work.

We are hardwired as humans to seek social connection and affection. Feeling safe in a relationship may relieve stress, strengthen the bond between partners, promote happiness and optimism, and give us a life purpose.

Thus, we need to have healthy, secure relationships to grow in life.

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What Causes Feelings of Insecurity in a Relationship?

You may feel insecure if you believe your partner has treated you disrespectfully or inadequately.

Also, if you have been hurt in the past or in your present relationship in any way, you may feel insecure and question your worth, your partner’s feelings, or the future of your relationship. For example, if you have been cheated on in the past, this may have a significant impact on your ability to trust people, creating a sense of insecurity in your relationships.

And then, there are toxic relationships with narcissists that keep you feeling insecure, controlled, worthless, and powerless in a vicious cycle of abuse.

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If you are feeling insecure in your relationship, it may cause a rift between you and your partner. For example, they might get tired of you messaging them while they’re at work to check when they’ll be home or repeatedly asking them to prove that they love you.

In short, insecurity in interpersonal relationships has been linked to an increased risk of mental illness, drug misuse, and behavioral issues, all of which can have a negative impact on your pleasure and sense of well-being.

What Happens When You Don’t Have Good Boundaries?

“We can’t connect with someone until we’re clear where we end and they begin,” says Brené Brown, a research professor, and author, in her book Atlas of the Heart. She believes that compassion and empathy necessitate boundaries.

When you have fluid or no boundaries, you may struggle to say no and protect your rights. As a result, you may allow others to mistreat or take advantage of you, feeling hurt, resentful, and ashamed. Setting healthy boundaries in relationships might help you avoid feeling this way, let others know how you want to be treated, and boost your confidence and self-esteem.

Toxic relationships can happen to anyone. Read on to discover what a self-love coach can do to help you through this healing journey.

Why Feeling Safe in a Relationship Is All About Setting Good Boundaries?

Good boundaries are vital for us to feel safe in our relationships, whether emotional, sexual, physical, or spiritual.

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Boundaries can help you determine how to maintain your freedom in a relationship and how much responsibility you’re willing to take on. So, setting clear boundaries can help reduce feelings of insecurity and resentment. If you have good boundaries in your relationships, it will help you be more honest and vulnerable. Boundaries allow us to communicate our feelings, needs, and expectations more clearly and establish stronger connections with the people who matter the most to us.

Boundaries Encourage Growth

Good boundaries allow us to feel safe and protected, and authentically present with others without losing our individuality. Partners in safe relationships cherish boundaries because they understand that good boundaries are an expression of emotional intimacy, independence, and freedom.

Boundaries Are an Essential Form of Self-Care

Setting boundaries doesn’t mean you are selfish or don’t love your partner. On the contrary, boundaries promote love, security, compassion, and empathy. Also, having good boundaries enables you to pay attention to and satisfy your needs, whether spending time with friends, splitting up the household chores with your partner, or finding someone to watch the children while you relax.

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Therefore, boundaries permit you to take some time for yourself without feeling guilty.

How to Start Building Boundaries That Are True to You

If you’re still stuck and don’t know how to set boundaries and feel safe in a relationship, life and boundary coaching may be the right path for you to take. A trained mental health professional can help you work through painful events from your past, identify and overcome self-limiting beliefs, and awaken your true self for the simple reason that you won’t be able to feel secure in your relationships with other people unless you first feel secure within yourself.

If you want to learn how to set healthy boundaries and feel safe, contact me to set up a free empowering conversation.

(1) Source