How to Forgive Yourself and Start Healing Understanding Self-Compassion - Kamini Wood

How to Forgive Yourself and Start Healing

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Being a human means that you are flawed and imperfect. You fail to achieve your goals or live up to your internal standards. You make mistakes and hurt yourself and others.

Understanding that as human beings, we are bound to be imperfect will help you accept your flaws as a part of your unique life experience. Learning how to become more self-compassionate and replace shame and guilt with self-acceptance can stop negative self-talk and self-judgment and alleviate stress, anxiety, and depression.

Guilt and Shame

forgiveness woman loves herself alone

Understanding the difference between guilt and shame is essential in your self-forgiveness and healing processes. Guilt appears as a result of the awareness that you have done something wrong to another person and motivates you to change behavior and improve. Guilt helps you understand your mistakes, wrong choices, and harm you caused to another person.

On the contrary, shame triggers feelings of imperfection and worthlessness and involves the belief that there is something at the core wrong with you. Accordingly, shame is often the root of anxiety, depression, and mental health concerns.

Taking Responsibility for Your Actions

It is essential to understand that there is a big difference between taking responsibility for yourself and blaming yourself. We tend to scold and beat ourselves up for our flaws and mistakes. Sometimes, we let our inner critic get out of control to the point where it harms our mental health and overall well-being.

However, taking responsibility for your thoughts, feelings, and actions doesn’t mean being self-judgmental and critical. The ability to accept yourself can help you learn from your experiences make better choices in the future.

To forgive yourself, you need to let go of self-criticism while accepting responsibility for your thoughts, emotions, and behavior. Self-forgiveness asks that you overcome shame and become more self-compassionate.

The Importance of Self-Compassion

forgive quote

To forgive yourself, you need to nurture self-love and self-kindness. You need to acknowledge that you deserve the kindness and compassion you would offer to someone you love. Self-compassion teaches you how to silence your inner critic and let go of self-blame.

Understanding Common Humanity

An essential aspect of self-forgiveness is the awareness that humans are bound for imperfection. While this knowledge doesn’t amend your wrong choices, it does help you understand that you are not lonely and isolated in your faultiness. 

Learning how to be self-compassionate can improve your resilience and see things from a different perspective. It can help you let go of feelings of guilt, resentment, sadness, and shame, that impede self-forgiveness. As humans, we can forgive and heal. However, to nurture self-compassion and heal, you must first take responsibility for yourself, let go of shame, and make peace with your experiences. Learning from your mistakes and letting go of shame is necessary to forgive ourselves and move on.

We cannot fix the past. What we can do is learn from it and start to generate the future we want. When are you ready to move forward book a time to chat.

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