Are Relationship Problems Making You Feel Hopeless, Powerless, Or Unlovable?
Are you wondering how to save a toxic marriage or troubled relationship? You may feel like your relationship is one-sided, perhaps wondering if it is even salvageable. At the same time, you may have already sacrificed a lot to preserve it—especially if you have children—leaving you hesitant to cut things off.
Are you going through a divorce or in the process of cutting off a toxic relationship? You may be feeling unlovable, discouraged, or hopeless—especially if you were cheated on, broken up with, or made to feel unimportant. You may be asking yourself, “Why does this keep happening to me?” or “Why am I so bad at relationships?” or even “Will anyone ever love me?”
If you’ve been experiencing relationship problems, the resulting sadness, apprehension, and frustration may make it hard to function. Constant worries about the future might be taking their toll on you mentally and emotionally, making you feel drained. You may also have developed a short fuse, which is beginning to impact your other relationships.
Of course, you can’t control your partner. But you can decide what standards to set for yourself and how you want your life to look after your relationship problems have been resolved. By working with an experienced relationship coach or breakup coach, you can make amends with your past, let go of powerlessness, and recognize that you are still whole—despite feeling broken.
Heartaches Are Part Of Being Human
Everyone experiences relationship problems at some point. Nearly half of Americans have no spouse or partner. And those who do have a 50% chance of eventually separating. Despite our need for human connection, our relationships often fail to meet our expectations, making us question both our partners and ourselves.
For many people, early experiences set the stage for relationship problems. Children focused on making their parents happy often grow up to be people-pleasers who don’t know how to set boundaries. Partners who are cheated on learn to be mistrustful. And the children of critical or neglectful parents grow up feeling unworthy of love.
All of this can make adult relationships more difficult. For example, a belief of being unlovable can make a person more likely to tolerate mistreatment from a toxic or narcissistic partner. Or the childhood habit of making other people happy can cause one-sided adult relationships that result in exhaustion and resentment.
If you’re working through a rough patch or separation, it’s only natural that you should feel extremely hurt and discouraged. Fortunately, you don’t have to feel this way forever. With the help of a compassionate and supportive relationship coach, you can transform heartache into healing and an opportunity for growth. At the same time, you can increase the chances that your next relationship will be successful.
Life Changes Can Be Scary and Stressful for Many People
As humans, we are creatures of habit. Even those of us who don’t have Type A personalities still feel uprooted when our routines are unexpectedly changed or we are otherwise forced out of our comfort zones. The apprehensiveness and fear you are feeling are perfectly understandable. Self-preservation is natural and instinctual; we are rightly reluctant to enter into situations in which our emotional safety could be compromised.
In fact, to an extent, some apprehensiveness before making a major life change can be a good thing. It will keep you from jumping headfirst into something new without thoroughly thinking it through. With any big changes we make, it’s important to approach them rationally, examining the pros and cons.
At the same time, we have the gift of intuition and inner spirit. If a decision weighs heavily on you and gives you a deeply unsettled feeling as opposed to simply a case of the nerves, it’s important to listen to that. Your intuition could be trying to tell you something important, but your gut feelings can be easy to ignore or lose track of in the daily noise of your life.
While friends and family may mean well by offering advice, sometimes they can be too emotionally invested to help you make an objective decision. Fortunately, with the help of a relationships coach, you don’t have to wrestle with the stress of indecision on your own. Everyone needs help and guidance from time to time, and relationship coaching can help you face your life by putting your best foot forward.
Empower Yourself And Shift Old Patterns With Relationship Coaching
Coaching gives you an opportunity to fully express yourself and make the changes needed to shift unhelpful relationship patterns. You may be looking for relationship advice or wondering how to save a relationship, and I will help you find the answers. But rather than tell you what to do, I will encourage you to look inward and ask yourself what you need and what you want out of your life and relationships.
Even if you’re feeling discouraged, coaching can empower you. Rather than holding onto a victim identity that steals your power, you can learn to recognize opportunities for positive change. In time, you may understand that a relationship is something that happens through you, not to you.
To facilitate this growth, I will ask intuitive questions that provoke deeper thought and encourage you to look inward. Meeting you where you are, I will listen compassionately and without judgment. While I can offer tools and strategies you may find helpful, I will focus more on helping you get in touch with your own needs. If you’re unsure whether to proceed with the relationship—or you’re having doubts about a previous decision—this can provide clarity and confidence.
Coaching can also help you recognize any role you may have played in problematic relationship patterns. For example, if your partner is a narcissist, alcoholic, drug user, or otherwise dysfunctional, you may have been trying for years to “fix” them. If this sounds like you, coaching can help you recognize that it isn’t your job to fix anyone. At the same time, it can motivate you to communicate your needs and expectations and give your partner an opportunity to make positive changes.
The confidence and clarity you gain from our sessions can also make separation from a toxic partner easier. When you see the truth of what you need and gain the courage to pursue it, you can break free from the painful patterns of your past. In so doing, you create space for the healthier and more fulfilling relationships you will develop in the future.
If you need guidance through the process of leaving an unhealthy relationship, or if you need help breaking old patterns of relating to your partner and establishing a new way of relating while staying in the relationship, I will use my experience and training as a conscious uncoupling(tm) coach, as trained by Katherine Woodward Thomas, to help you avoid painful arguments and drama. Using the principles of conscious uncoupling, I will encourage you to make mindful choices regarding how you interact. This will facilitate calmer, more respectful interactions, making things easier on you and—if applicable—other family members.
Through a collaborative, holistic approach, I can help you feel whole by healing and awakening every part of your mind, body, and soul. In time, you may see that your relationship problems didn’t break you apart—they broke you open, creating space for new possibilities
As you consider relationship coaching, you may wonder. . .
Won’t the pain go away on its own?
If we don’t break through old patterns, it will be hard for you not to repeat them. For example, if you tend to blame yourself for relationship problems, you may return to feelings of defeat and shame again and again. Or if you tend to blame your partner, it may be hard to escape a victim mentality that leaves you powerless. In either case, you will feel emotionally stuck. As a certified relationship coach, I can help you move past blame, shame, resentment, and other emotions that may be holding you back.
Can I really afford to do this?
Can you afford not to? Relationship problems and breakups often feel like the end of the world. Instead of letting painful emotions such as rage, hatred, and fear bury you in despair, wouldn’t you rather learn to harness this energy and use it to drive positive change? There is no investment more important than the one you make in yourself and your ability to be happy.
Will coaching actually help?
If you’ve done everything you can think of to improve your situation but to no avail, relationship coaching is the logical next step. For many people, coaching is an important source of support, guidance, and a fresh perspective. There is an excellent chance that coaching will help you, but you’ll never know until you try. Your life may feel like it’s in pieces right now. It’s up to you whether you allow yourself to continue to fall apart or use this opportunity to build yourself up into a stronger and happier person.
Create A Better Future For Yourself
You may not be able to see it now, but it is possible to create a better life for yourself even after going through a breakup or relationship disaster. There is a new, happier life for you on the other side of this heartache. If you’re interested in my relationship coaching services, please contact me for a free 30-minute consultation.
“You are amazing. Wow. You just uncovered a layer I didn’t know was there. How many more are there?” ─ confidential client