Five Powerful Ways to Recover from Breakup Trauma
Breakups are an integral part of life. Almost everyone was dumped by someone they were still in love with or broke up with someone who was still in love with them. But the fact that breakups are commonplace in human relationships doesn’t make them any less painful.
We tangle our dreams, feelings, goals, plans, and expectations with another person for the time of a relationship and it is expected that our needs and expectations from the future change during a relationship. We permit ourselves to be vulnerable and open up about our deepest feelings, desires, and wants to our partner – this is what intimacy is all about.
A breakup is a loss – not only a loss of someone you are still in love with but also a loss of your future plans, dreams, familiar routine. A breakup also means a loss of your self-concept and identity. Going through a breakup can impair your sense of self-esteem and self-worth, changing how you see yourself.
For all that, going through breakups can be traumatic; similar to other losses and traumas, breakups can trigger overwhelming grief.
The Science Behind Splitting Up
Research suggests that the ending of romantic love activates similar biochemical reactions in the brain to those that happen during drug withdrawal.
Love boosts the levels of happiness hormones (neurotransmitters dopamine and serotonin) in our brain. Kissing, holding hands, hugging, sex, and other forms of physical intimacy release a flood of oxytocin. This is also known as the “love hormone,” and it helps us bond with another person.
After a breakup, the brain loses its regular supply of neurotransmitters, causing a neurological withdrawal and making us feel depressed.
So, if you don’t find healthy ways to overcome heartache and cope with your grief, it may quickly turn into anxiety, depression, or other mental health issues. Finding constructive ways to replace these chemicals is critical to recovering from a breakup trauma.
How to Bounce Back from a Heartache?
As breakups often cause a collapse of our self-concept and self-worth, an essential step in the healing process involves self-concept reorganization. This process is about restoring and strengthening your sense of identity outside of the relationship and without your partner.
Here are five powerful ways to repair your self-concept and recover from breakup trauma.
1. Follow “No Contact” Rule
Relationship experts believe that staying in touch post-breakup may prevent you from healing and moving on. No contact rule means no contact with your ex-partner (no calls, messages, emails, or contacting your ex’s family or friends).
While it may be tough to resist the temptation to contact your ex, the no-contact rule will eventually help reflect on your feelings, set boundaries, recover your self-esteem, and move on.
2. Jot Your Sorrow Down
Journaling about the breakup experience can help acknowledge and release your feelings. Writing your feelings down is also an excellent way to capture self-beating thoughts spiraling in your mind. and causing you to feel anxious, unlovable, isolated, and depressed.
3. Take Good Care of Yourself
Although there will be days when even getting out of bed requires a conscious effort, don’t sink into your misery after a breakup. Make sure to put self-care first because a few simple self-loving strategies can improve your mood your self-esteem.
- To regain a sense of self-worth, make sure to get enough rest. Regular sleep, mindfulness meditation, and relaxation practice can calm your mind and body. These also help you observe distressing thoughts and feelings, and let them pass without self-judgment.
- Start your days with a gratitude practice. Counting your blessings will help identify good things in your life, boost optimism, and reorganize your self-concept.
- Set a new exercise routine and maybe join a team. Physical activity will keep you occupied, introduce you to new people, and help you feel energized and less depressed. Physical activity causes a surge of happiness hormones, so it is an excellent way to replace dropped neurotransmitter levels in your brain.
- Work on self-compassion and improving your self-respect. This is a great way to forgive yourself and your partner, recover from breakup trauma and move on. Self-compassion is essential if you are recovering from a toxic relationship and breakup. It involves an attitude of self-acceptance, allowing you to forgive yourself and stop beating yourself for what you’ve been through.
4. Try New Things
The breakup might put your life on hold for some time. However, this is a great time to get back to things you enjoyed doing but maybe didn’t have time for while in a relationship. Or maybe start some new habits, hobbies, and activities.
Spend time on the parts of yourself and your interests that might have been pushed aside in the relationship. Devote time to finding your passion in life. New interests and goals can help you express negative emotions. They can also provide opportunities to connect with others, prevent feelings of isolation and loneliness, and help find purpose in life.
5. Seek Support
Talking about a breakup can help process emotions, bring a different perspective to things, and help facilitate the healing process.
Talking to a family member, close friend, or a trained coach can bring clarity and insight into your relationship and breakup experience, giving it meaning.
Coaching can be a safe place to work through your emotions and reflect on a breakup experience. A certified coach in dealing with heartache can help you see a breakup as an ending, not a rejection. Such a mindset can boost your self-esteem, learn to be self-compassionate, restructure your self-concept, and feel whole again.
At the end of your healing journey, you will learn that you can love again. You feel empowered to find a supportive and loving partner capable of commitment who will value and appreciate you for who you are.
As a certified conscious uncoupling coach, I am well versed in how to understand and learn from the breakup in order to fully heal and be able to completely move forward with your life.
To schedule a call please book a time at www.chatwithkamini.com