“I Have to Prove my Worth” (False Identity Series: III)
Many people spend their lives trying to prove themselves to others. We often feel an urge to prove our worth, especially when we feel criticized, misunderstood, or judged. But what lies behind our belief that we have to keep showing ourselves?
Our need to prove our worth often stems from profound feelings of being misunderstood, unaccepted, or undermined. In other words, there is a deep sense of unworthiness and lack of confidence. This feeling usually has roots in a person’s childhood. When you learn to rely on others to validate your self-worth, these patterns typically continue into adulthood.
Childhood in an unhealthy family with lots of neglect, lack of support, or abuse can shape you into an adult who feels a profound sense of worthlessness. Growing up in a family with emotionally distant parents may have caused you to be oversensitive to rejection. You may lack self-awareness and continuously need someone else’s approval to feel worthy and valuable.
However, relying on others to validate your self-worth makes you vulnerable and can easily hurt you.
Here are some self-help strategies to overcome the mindset of not being worthy enough.
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Nurture Self-Compassion
Self-compassion helps you understand yourself better and see things from a different perspective. It teaches you that it is all right to have flaws and imperfections because, as humans, we’re bound to be imperfect. Self-compassion encourages you to be less judgmental and unforgiving by helping you silence your inner critic and overcome self-destructive thoughts of unworthiness.
Self-compassion also helps you become more attuned to your emotions, alleviates the symptoms of anxiety and depression, boosts your mood, and increases life satisfaction.
Accept Vulnerability
We usually use emotional suppression to avoid negative emotions because they make us feel uncomfortable or don’t know how to manage them. This is a subconscious defense mechanism we use to remove disturbing emotions and painful memories from our conscious mind.
However, constant suppression of negative feelings such as shame, unworthiness, sadness, or anger may cause different health concerns and impair the quality of your life. In other words, turning to yourself, and fully experiencing your emotions, both positive and negative, is essential to your well-being. Letting yourself look into your negative emotions allows you to fully experience these feelings and let them pass without taking control of your thoughts and behavior.
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Practice Affirmations about Self-Worth
If you want to feel worthy and enough, start feeding your subconscious mind with positive statements about yourself. Affirmations can help you overcome negative thoughts and help change the mindset of not being worthy into a confident one.
Always start your affirmations with the words “I am” and use the present tense. Make sure to keep your statements brief and specific, for example, “I am enough,” “I am confident,” “I believe in myself,” and similar. Also, always include at least one motivating emotion. Finally, make affirmations for yourself, not others.
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