5 Signs Someone Might Be a Spiritual Narcissist
It is never simple to deal with a narcissist. These people are often deceptive and dominating, putting their own wants and needs first. They lack empathy and have an overinflated sense of their value. So, regardless of its type, a relationship with a narcissist may sap your energy, undermine your self-esteem, and harm your mental health and well-being.
But a relationship with a spiritual narcissist is on a whole other level.
What is a Spiritual Narcissist?
A spiritual narcissist is someone who uses faith and spirituality to manipulate others and obtain a narcissistic supply to boost their own ego. This can be your preacher, guru, or spiritual coach. Also, a spiritual narcissist can be your family member, a parent, or your romantic partner.
Spiritual narcissists crave control, believing that their spirituality makes them superior to others. They can be incredibly alluring. Moreover, spiritual narcissists are in a position of authority. This allows them to deceive and manipulate religious individuals who are open and trustworthy, ensuring a continual source of narcissistic supply.
Using Spirituality and Religion as an Excuse to Hurt Others
Narcissistic spiritual leaders have twisted, toxic faith and an inflated view of their own worth. They abuse their influence and power by inflicting spiritual harm on others.
Your narcissistic spiritualist, for example, may use spiritual wisdom to control and humiliate you rather than inspire and reassure you. Also, a religious narcissist might love-bomb you, shame you, try to control you, or make you feel afraid.
For example, your narcissistic partner might use their spiritual knowledge and authority as part of a love-bombing strategy to convince you that you are soulmates and meant to be together. The purpose of love bombing is to indebt you by convincing you that you owe the narcissist something for them to have power over you.
They may also use their spiritual expertise and authority to gaslight you until you start doubting yourself, questioning your reality, and losing your sense of identity and self-worth.
5 Signs Someone Might Be a Spiritual Narcissist
A spiritual narcissist can be incredibly insidious and hard to recognize. Due to our stereotypes about spiritual leaders, we may believe that they are highly spiritual, wise, generous, and peaceful. You may not suspect your spiritual guru to be a narcissist because you expect them to be compassionate and do good things for others.
However, such stereotypes and beliefs can be highly deceptive. So, here are 5 signs that someone might be a spiritual narcissist.
1. They Hijack Conversations
The spiritual narcissist seeks to control every conversation, believing they always know best. So, they may intrude on your private talks with others by leveraging their power and expertise. They may hijack your conversations under the pretext of “assisting” or “supporting” you. But in truth, they lack empathy and are uninterested in exchanging ideas.
When they injure you, the spiritual narcissist may use gaslighting to diminish your emotional reactions, rejecting them as irrelevant and sending the message that your perspective and feelings don’t matter. They may play the victim instead, accusing you of being ungrateful.
2. They Act as Though They Have Never Made Any Mistakes (But Criticize Others for Theirs)
Narcissists will never admit their own mistakes, rejecting accountability for everything they say or do. Instead, they blame others for their errors, making people around them feel bad about something they didn’t say or do.
They may have overly high expectations or make unreasonable demands all the time. So, no matter what you say or do, the spiritual narcissist will never be satisfied.
Because their practice of criticizing everything you say or do might make you feel defective all the time, you will go out of your way to satisfy the spiritual narcissist. This, however, is never the case since they will always find something to criticize and judge you for.
3. They Talk at You but Never Listen
Many people turn to their spiritual leaders for reassurance and support, expecting understanding, empathy, and trust.
However, spiritual narcissists are incapable of listening and providing genuine support. On the contrary, they enjoy being the center of attention, so they are usually loud and outspoken. Spiritual narcissists might be easily offended and angered if you don’t listen to them or follow their advice, making you feel bad for disregarding them.
4. They are Constantly Judging Others
In contrast to the compassion, forgiveness, and love they are meant to promote, spiritual narcissists constantly criticize and judge others. They bolster their own ego by degrading others. So, spiritual narcissists will use any chance to blame others for what they see as flaws.
5. They Manipulate Scripture to Justify Their Actions
A spiritual narcissist will profess love, kindness, and compassion yet never show it in their deeds. On the contrary, they will manipulate scripture to justify their toxic behavior and gaslight you into doubting your own knowledge and sanity.
They will use scripture to prove their viewpoints while ignoring passages that contradict their ideas and points of view.
How to Deal with a Spiritual Narcissist
Because most narcissists never change, it may be prudent to cut off all ties with them. However, if you decide to continue in a relationship with a spiritual narcissist for any reason, here is some advice on how to protect yourself.
- Identify a Spiritual Narcissist’s Abuse
Spiritual narcissists meticulously pick vulnerable and trusting people as their narcissistic supply. They are, however, selective about to who they reveal their actual nature.
So, their toxic behavior can go unnoticed for a long time. But, recognizing a narcissist’s actions as abusive is the first step toward learning how to deal with them.
- Set Boundaries
Limit your time with the spiritual narcissist, learn to say “no” to their demands, and express your displeasure with their intrusion into your privacy. Limit the quantity of personal information you share. Narcissists don’t respect other people’s boundaries, so they will try to break them. So, be gentle but firm in setting limits.